The big day is nearly here, your ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ is getting ready to start ‘big school’!
The
books are bought, the backpack filled, the uniform pressed and ready to go! Both
you and your child feel the excitement and anticipation of the big day to come.
You know his self-esteem is high, and that he is well able to communicate his
needs to the teacher. You know how independent she is, and that her social
skills and friendships are strong. In your heart of hearts, you know they are
ready to take this first step into formal education. So, what can you do in
these final days to support them during this important transition?
Start
by talking about school and reading books about children starting school. These
books cover all sorts of situations, and can be a great way to start
conversations about what is expected in the primary school system. Pre-empt any anxieties by going through the
various processes – when they will have lunch, what do to if they need to use
the toilet, where you will meet them at the end of the day. Speak positively
about school, if you are nervous about them starting school, try not to show
it!
In
practical terms, think about how independent they can be.
Can she put on and
take off her coat herself? (If her coat is new, make sure she can recognise
it!).
Is he confident in using the bathroom? (If his new uniform has zips, just
check he can use them).
Can she open and close her schoolbag and lunchbox? (Usually
these are both new).
Don’t forget to label all their possessions. This can
avoid rows over who owns what!
Break
and lunch times can be hectic in a classroom full of junior infants, and the
teacher will often not have enough time (or hands!) to help so many children. Little
oranges can be difficult to peel, yogurt drinks can end up down the front of
their jumper, and plastic wrapped cheeses of various sorts often end up at the
bottom of the lunch box half opened. Try having a ‘pretend school lunchtime’
with your child at home so that they can try things out, and you can see what
they can manage easily.
If
your child does not know any other children in the new class, ask around to see
if any children living near you will be starting and introduce them before the
big day. Starting school is always
easier with a hand to hold!
Try
to get into a new routine early – earlier bed time and waking earlier in the
morning – and plan your routine for the mornings. What can you have ready the
night before to make your mornings easier? Better to have more time in the mornings,
than be rushing in a panic. A stressed parent = stressed child.
On
the first morning at school, arrive in plenty of time. Don’t worry if there are a few tears (either
your child or yourself – just hide your own till you have left the classroom!) it
is often just a release of all the emotion of the day. No matter how you are
feeling, be positive with your child.
Don’t linger too long in the classroom -
if your child is nervous, try to engage them in an activity, or with another
child before you leave. Always tell them when you are leaving, and that you
will be there waiting for them when school ends. Remind them that if they are
unsure of anything, just ask the teacher – she is there to help.
If
you have an anxious child, don’t minimise their concerns, instead talk to them
about what to expect and talk through how they might respond to any concerns
they might have. A little trick can be to put a few drops of your perfume on a
hankie for them to take in their schoolbag with them – if feeling a little
nervous, it can help to have a little sniff of mum! Or get two little matching
charms one for you and one for the child to take to school – if you are missing
each other you have the charm to remind you the other one is thinking of you.
At
the end of the day, make sure you are on time to collect them! It can be very
upsetting for a child if they are left waiting for you. After school, try to
have some time set aside to talk to your child about their daily activities. But
try not to worry if your child says ‘I don’t know’ when asked about school
life, they have an awful lot to take in over those first weeks. Most parents
have experience of the greeting ‘what did you do today?’ getting the response
‘nothing’! Remember this transition is not just the first day of school, it
takes time to settle into the new classroom and routine, and you can expect
them to be more tired than usual over the first weeks.
Finally,
don’t forget to look after your own emotional well-being. Your child starting
school can be as much of an emotional change for you as it is for them. Keep
yourself busy over those first days. Try to have a few words with some of the
other parents at drop off and pick up times, they are going through the same
emotions, and will probably become your friends and allies for the next eight
years or so! Your child starting school is both exciting and emotional,
watching them finding their wings and learning to fly. Don’t worry it will soon
be 3pm, and your little whirlwind will be back, eyes sparkling, to reassure you
that she really is a ‘big girl’ now!
Thank You Dr Mary O'Kane
